New habits are hard work. This is something we talk about a lot in our nutrition conversations. We also know how easy it can be to start something but keeping those promises to ourselves, that’s way more difficult. What really stinks is when we break those promise we wind up feeling crappy about ourselves. It becomes part of the false narrative we tell ourselves when we feel unworthy and unlovable. Its a cycle that can be really debilitating and dis-empowering. Here’s how to fix it. It takes discipline but it’s not difficult.
The Importance of Keeping Promises
A while back, I wrote a post about a concept I call, “Something Is Better Than Nothing” and I still think this is important. The important part is that we have to set goals that feel achievable. Say for example you want to exercise or meditate. Start small using the “Something is Better Than Nothing” principle and you’re more likely to keep your promise.
Now, about keeping your promise. When we begin a new habit it’s totally normal for our mind to have a lot to say. The reason being that our mind doesn’t like change so resistance creeps in. More on mental resistance to come!
This is the hard part but it’s also the place where we start to claim our power and validate our worth. Nicole Lapera, the holistic psychologists (check her our on IG), says that in keeping our promises we also learn to trust ourselves. She talks a lot of the importance of discipline and showing up.
Remember, new habits are hard work but every time we choose to keep a promise to ourselves we override the ego mind (that voice of resistance that convinces us to avoid or quit) and instead, we learn to trust ourselves. We can trust that our wise mind knows what is good for us even when our ego mind convinces us otherwise.
When we choose to show up for ourselves day after day we get a little stronger by proving to ourselves that we deserve to be cared for! That we are worth it! This is the foundation of self-love, self-trust and self-worth and it doesn’t always mean doing more. Sometimes it’s quite the opposite.
Just keeping showing up and make sure you celebrate yourself when you do. It’s empowering and exciting to live the affirmation, I am worth it! If you miss a day, have compassion and ignore your ego when it jumps in to say “I told you so”. Just show up the next day and remain in control because you are worth it.
How to Start Showing Up for Yourself
Start keeping the promises you make to yourself even when they seem small or inconsequential. This is one way you can remind yourself that you are worth it and trustworthy!
Here are a few “Something is Better Than Nothing” ways you can start showing up. Pick one or two. Commit to them for 30 days then add something new.
- Cook a meal at home once a week
- Meditate for 3-5 minutes
- Take one mindful breath a few times throughout the day when you need it
- Massage your feet and legs before bed (this is great for anxiety and insomnia)
- Take a 5 or 10 minute walk
- Do 30 squats while your watching TV
- Do something you love like knit or draw or read everyday
- Take a nap if you need it
- Start a Journal practice
- Set a sleep schedule
My Personal Experience
As you know, I was having a tough time committing to a daily meditation practice. I found there were times where my mind was so loud I was actually avoiding it! It felt like self-betrayal because it was. My intuition was begging for stillness yet my mind was coming up with a million reasons why I couldn’t make time for it. The number one was that Hudson needed me for something. More on this below.
It’s often that we need a crisis to make us listen. Either way, I committed to. I committed to daily meditations a few months ago and I am currently in loving it! I really look forward to it and I’m doing a pretty good job of sticking with it. If I miss my morning meditation I often get it in before bedtime. And on days when life is super busy, I try my best to take mindful moments throughout the day and then prioritize my meditation for the next day.
Guided Meditation Apps
Some of my favorite guided meditations are from the Chopra Institute. There are several topics to choose from. I have done the 21-Day on Healthy Relationships as well as the 21-Day Finding Grace Through Gratitude and I highly recommend both. The 7-Days to Relieve Stress and Anxiety is also amazing. I also love headspace (an app) and highly recommend the Stress and Anxiety Course. Even Hudson has started to meditate in the evenings before bed as Headspace has a great kids program.
Is there a small goal that feels approachable for you? What’s the one thing you have wanted to do for years but haven’t made time for? How do you want to show up for yourself?
You’re worth it!
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