{Thrive} Mindful Monday: Owning our Stories

owning our stories We all have stories. Some of them are true though some are not and many of them become muddled over time. The thing that we often forget is that we are not shackled to these stories–no matter how tragic or hurtful or scary or triumphant they might be. Our stories, though a part of our personal journey, do not define us and they most certainly do not need to define who we would like to be.

I used to be the victim in the stories that played over and over in my head and by used to I mean as recently as a few months ago though I have been tamping down the jerky voice in my head for some time now (thankfully). About the jerky voice–there have always been two voices in my head and I think this is true for most of us though we rarely admit it because well, it’s sounds crazy even if it is true. My two voices go something like this:

  1. Rational, grounded Katie:
    1. You are enough.
    2. You are everything you need to be.
    3. You are doing the best that you can.
    4. You are making the best decisions that you can.
  2. Wounded Katie (It is important to note that this voice is always very loud and very convincing)
    1. You are not good enough.
    2. ________ did this to me.
    3. _________ wronged me in this way.
    4. __________ was not a good decision.
    5. You have no idea what you are doing.
    6. Your life is a failure.

I started to realize that I was repeating the same stories over and over again and while these stories were all rooted in the past they were defining my present. I was regularly sharing these stories with anyone who would listen. Maybe I was hoping they could change my past or even better change my future. What I really wanted was to be understood but what I didn’t realize was that every time I retold the story it simply bolstered the “wounded Katie” voice in my current life.


Rational, grounded Katie was not in charge. I was holding on to hurt. Harboring anger. Swimming in resentment.

Until now {though my thoughts are a bit like a whack-a-mole game! Wounded Katie is persistent but losing steam as grounded Katie is in charge now!}

What caused the shift? I’ll hash that out for you over the next couple of weeks because it wasn’t one magical thing. It was years of lessons that resulted in a total transformation as I truly began to understand the things I was desperately trying to learn for all of those years.

I’ll leave you with this. We have to own our stories because that is all they are. They are stories. Things that happen. Things are always going to happen! No one gets a free pass.

We can be grateful for our stories. They offer us the opportunity to learn and grow. The opportunity to make different choices.

We have the ability to write the next chapter, the next page…seriously, just write the next word!

You can choose to remain the victim. You can choose to remain unworthy. You can choose to remain whatever your jerky voice tells you to be.

Or, you can change your perspective and take charge of your story. I am and it’s a story I am proud to be a part of.

With pride,



2 thoughts on “{Thrive} Mindful Monday: Owning our Stories

    1. Hi Elissa, thank you for the kind words! I agree, it can be a struggle. Working towards self-trust and taking charge of our lives is an ever-evolving process. 🙂

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